Important Discovery
Wing called me last night at 11 30pm (USA) I was soo happy!!! I miss her so much! She’s flying for Canada on Wednesday at 11 30am (HK). Wish you all the best! God bless you! Wing WING!!!!!
Laundry and bathroom-cleaning day! I didn’t go out, locked myself in my room, partly to recover from the unknown depression from yesterday sermon.
Two important discoveries through the conversation with Jim this afternoon.
(1) The reason for my weeping at the sermon: I am grasping too tightly to certain “possessions” in life, I am not willing to let go when I oughta.
(2) My personality problem: I thought “Silence is the key” so often when depression sets in, I would lock myself in the room/play the piano without saying a single word. I thought that would at least avoid losing my temper or venting my anger on anyone around me. However, it’s often interpreted by my family as being “emotional”. I didn’t know that at all. I thought by hiding for a while (erecting the DND mode) till I’ve overcome that storm (back to normal happy mode) was ok. But apparently, it’s not! Now I understand why others (my family) always complain that I’m being too emotional. UGH! Now I know, they’ve misunderstood my signals. I must apologise to those (esp. my family) who have experienced such moments from me. I really didn’t mean to upset you. Especially mom, I hope one day you would understand that I was only trying to avoid venting my anger like when I was young, I know I had a really terrible temper that time.
Danieal talked to me through MSN with her webcamera in the office. Nice to see her again.
Did some cooking again. Made soup with Tomato, Tofu, Pork and celery. I know… the combination is kinda weird (it doesn’t look appealing), but the taste is pretty good.
School starts tomorrow. I am excited and anxious! Wanna begin and end the year soon. Will have a busy quarter!!
Laundry and bathroom-cleaning day! I didn’t go out, locked myself in my room, partly to recover from the unknown depression from yesterday sermon.
Two important discoveries through the conversation with Jim this afternoon.
(1) The reason for my weeping at the sermon: I am grasping too tightly to certain “possessions” in life, I am not willing to let go when I oughta.
(2) My personality problem: I thought “Silence is the key” so often when depression sets in, I would lock myself in the room/play the piano without saying a single word. I thought that would at least avoid losing my temper or venting my anger on anyone around me. However, it’s often interpreted by my family as being “emotional”. I didn’t know that at all. I thought by hiding for a while (erecting the DND mode) till I’ve overcome that storm (back to normal happy mode) was ok. But apparently, it’s not! Now I understand why others (my family) always complain that I’m being too emotional. UGH! Now I know, they’ve misunderstood my signals. I must apologise to those (esp. my family) who have experienced such moments from me. I really didn’t mean to upset you. Especially mom, I hope one day you would understand that I was only trying to avoid venting my anger like when I was young, I know I had a really terrible temper that time.
Danieal talked to me through MSN with her webcamera in the office. Nice to see her again.
Did some cooking again. Made soup with Tomato, Tofu, Pork and celery. I know… the combination is kinda weird (it doesn’t look appealing), but the taste is pretty good.
School starts tomorrow. I am excited and anxious! Wanna begin and end the year soon. Will have a busy quarter!!
<< Home