Silence
Silence...
The word just crashed my mind. I need silence too. There are quite a number of books sitting around me waiting for me to flip over them, but I just can't reach them now.. cuz they are covered and sealed in boxes.
I saw the book "I am a cat" by Natsume Soseki on Viene's shelf. Somehow I wanna read it. I still remember I read the book "Kokoro" by him. It's a really good book. I still remember what Yusuke said about the book. It's a nice book I must say. I still wanna read his novels.. He's such a great novelist... a great thinker too. I wish I could write like him, of course not in Japanese, but in English/Chinese.
I realise I haven't had the time to really meditate, or keep the time for myself for a looong looong time. I don't know how long it's been. But seems that I haven't had those moments for a long long long time. I know some may think I dont care... well I do... tho' I don't really write those words down here on my blog, or I deleted them immediately. But I care.
It's as simple as that... after several rejections from my mom, I'd rather say "I LOVE YOU, MOM" here online.. than saying it directly to her anymore. Just to save myself from getting that rejection again.
I haven't written my diary(not the online one) for a long time.... I kinda regret about that cuz I really wanna fill every page up. But I'll be writing it again from tonite cuz I need to write down my thoughts to keep myself living. I can't be escaping from it anymore. I used to write the good things down (conciously ignoring the bad ones) or simply don't wanna remind myself of the bad days... I should start writing my journal again, it really is the way for me to work things out... and keep being myself. Stupid me... for sometime, I wanted to write down everything that happened to me daily...but realising not many ppl are as naive as I am, I simply stopped that habit. Well, I won't let myself down again on journal entry.
"Don't hold on too long and don't let go too soon..." I haven't let go... but dare not look back.
Lewinna is joining me next week. See you soon, Lew.
The word just crashed my mind. I need silence too. There are quite a number of books sitting around me waiting for me to flip over them, but I just can't reach them now.. cuz they are covered and sealed in boxes.
I saw the book "I am a cat" by Natsume Soseki on Viene's shelf. Somehow I wanna read it. I still remember I read the book "Kokoro" by him. It's a really good book. I still remember what Yusuke said about the book. It's a nice book I must say. I still wanna read his novels.. He's such a great novelist... a great thinker too. I wish I could write like him, of course not in Japanese, but in English/Chinese.
I realise I haven't had the time to really meditate, or keep the time for myself for a looong looong time. I don't know how long it's been. But seems that I haven't had those moments for a long long long time. I know some may think I dont care... well I do... tho' I don't really write those words down here on my blog, or I deleted them immediately. But I care.
It's as simple as that... after several rejections from my mom, I'd rather say "I LOVE YOU, MOM" here online.. than saying it directly to her anymore. Just to save myself from getting that rejection again.
I haven't written my diary(not the online one) for a long time.... I kinda regret about that cuz I really wanna fill every page up. But I'll be writing it again from tonite cuz I need to write down my thoughts to keep myself living. I can't be escaping from it anymore. I used to write the good things down (conciously ignoring the bad ones) or simply don't wanna remind myself of the bad days... I should start writing my journal again, it really is the way for me to work things out... and keep being myself. Stupid me... for sometime, I wanted to write down everything that happened to me daily...but realising not many ppl are as naive as I am, I simply stopped that habit. Well, I won't let myself down again on journal entry.
"Don't hold on too long and don't let go too soon..." I haven't let go... but dare not look back.
Lewinna is joining me next week. See you soon, Lew.
<< Home